tj:
The Eagles: You can only reach orgasm while listening to talk radio.
Rainbow: You have worn sweatpants to a funeral.
Thin Lizzy: You are often forced to change or cancel your plans due to “NO LOITERING” signs.
Journey: You own those running shoes that are shaped like feet.
Rush: You carry a small flashlight everywhere, and use it at least three times a day.
Fleetwood Mac: You have snorted cocaine off a copy of The Hobbit.
Blue Oyster Cult: You have snorted cocaine off a copy of Type 2 Diabetes for Dummies.
Jethro Tull: You have a favorite rune.
Lynyrd Skynyrd: You somehow have both long hair and a sunburned scalp.
Yes: Your ideal partner would be into both tantric sex and fat guys.
Creedence Clearwater Revival: You are frequently missing part of an eyebrow.
The Moody Blues: You are a former volunteer at the Liberace museum, a serial killer, or both.
The Grateful Dead: Your stories about the seventies make your daughter’s roommates at Tufts very uncomfortable.
T-Rex: No matter how much you clean, there will always be trace amounts of glitter on your stove and blender.
The Beatles: You can do exactly 1.5 pull-ups.
Badfinger: You are a Beatle.
Deep Purple: Some part of a law named after a young girl applies to you.
You have to read ALL of this. ALL OF IT.
Pink Floyd: Your garage is full of failed versions of your stereo/barbecue hybrid.
There are only 70 notes on this instead of 7,000, which I assume is due to a Tumblr glitch.
Or the fact that most of you are children who only hear these bands on the “oldies” station on Pandora.
